Fail Friday: Falling in Reverse-Fashionably Late ALBUM REVIEW

This is the first time I'm attempting something this brave: I'm going to listen to an awful postcore album front to back and review it as I listen. Today, I'll listen to Falling in Reverse's latest album Fashionably Late

I first heard of Falling In Reverse recently when their vocalist announced the atrocity that will be his new hip-hop mixtape that will feature members of Asking Alexandria and Black Veil Brides (metalheads, let that sink in for a bit) By looking for the band on youtube, the first music video I watched was for the song "Alone" which featured bad rapping, autotune, breakdowns, and techno keyboards all in one. Needless to say, it was one of the worst songs I've heard in my life. So how's the rest of the album? I'm about to find out...

INPUT: Falling In Reverse-Fashionably Late

5:10PM-I've located the album on spotify. I close all doors and windows before pressing play.
5:12-The album begins with the song "Champion" which starts out as some generic yet passable metalcore, but then takes a turn for utter shit. At around 2:18 the vocalist breaks into a rap complete with some awfully done keyboard work. He struggles to keep up with the pace he's set for himself, and then guess what happens after the verse?
5:13-A breakdown.
5:17-A banal pop tune about bad girls. "She's fucking crazy spell C U N T." That's quite the line there.
5:21-My shame: I'm kind of a sucker for the pop punk style vocal melody.
5:22-Another generic metalcore track. This dude's scream is weak. He's trying to hit the lows but ends up sounding like a pissy old man with a sore throat.
5:25-Metalcore + modern rap + dubstep = what the fuck were they thinking?
5:27-The title track. Basically a song Sum 41 would do but slightly less tolerable.
5:31-"Alone" that track I heard the other day. Just as cringe-worthy as before. But between all the awful lines ("White boy on the beats wearing Gucci sneaks/all I do is win, Charlie Sheen) he manages to call me out: "Haters talking shit while washing dishes for a living" Well, fuck. You got me.
5:35-Dinner break. Thank God. I wash hands before returning to the album.
5:47-Back from dinner. The album is half over, but we have to endure a cheesy sceamo track about being who you are to get past that point.
5:50-I think they got those dipshit guitarists from Dragonforce to play on this song. It's shred-tastic. Yay.
5:54-"It's Over When it's Over" begins like something that would've appeared on those last two lackluster Eminem albums. Where the fuck is Rihanna?! Overall, the track is overly bombastic and melodramatic but it's probably the most tolerable thing I've heard so far.
5:57-"Game Over" has some amusing video game sound effects, but it sounds like the same dumb/fun pop punk type shit that's been old since a decade ago.
6:00PM-This is one of the most sonically inconsistent albums I've ever heard. The Fall Out Boy type vocals are the only uniform thing to be found on the entire disc, everything else is a mixture of rap, techno/dubstep/pop punk and br00tal metalcore, and may of these styles don't gel together to say the least.
6:02-Why does every heavy track have to be supplemented (or ruined) with rapping? Maybe if the rapping was screamed it would sound better...
6:03-NO. It does NOT sound better. AT ALL.
6:05-I pause. The next track is called "Fuck the Rest" I'm preparing for one of the worst rap songs I've ever heard in my life. Step aside Lil B...
6:08-What the fuck?! With a title like "Fuck the Rest" I was almost certain that the song would be a rap song dissing the "haters", but no, it's just another way-too-sugary pop punk song.
6:11-A "Charlie bit my finger" reference...wha?
6:14-"Keep Holding On" An '80s power ballad meets Fall Out Boy that somehow makes me not want to kill a baby hamster in frustration despite the out of place breakdown comically thrown in at the end.
6:17-They're playing generic country now. I'm not fucking kidding. At least it's the end of the album. I'm feeling dizzy and slightly nauseous.

I made it. The deluxe album has three bonus tracks but I won't listen to them for the sake of my time and sanity. In all, it was a combination of the most generic elements of rap, postcore, emo, metalcore, and even (shudder) dubstep. Surprisingly, it wasn't that painful to listen to, not at all. However, I still recognize it as bad, bad music, and I will never listen to it in its entirety (or in parts) again.

OUTPUT: 5.4/10