METAL MOUTH-OFF: Jazz, School, and You

   I have three classes today, it's the middle of the week, and I'm starting to realize the enormity of the fucking workload that lies before me this semester. Shit, better do a metal mouth-off! Hopefully I'll have a "Classics" review up by tomorrow, but until then...

METAL MONDAYS: Why Metal?

   See that kid over there? Yeah, the short, scrawny, pale, pimply one all by himself, covered in milk and pineapple chunks hurled at him by a particularly nasty, thoughtless senior. A few students notice and begin laughing, sounding forced, laughing for the sake of his little misfortune. He rushes to the restroom in hopes of wiping himself clean, but it's to no use, his shirt is soaked and he has no spare. He leaves the restroom, back into the lunch court where a few people are still snickering. He keeps his head down and tries not to notice them and makes his way to one of the buildings to sit by himself. Either that or go to drama club, a place where he sometimes frequents, and a place where other misfits hang out and be themselves, but he knows that he doesn't fit in there either. The happy, laughing LBGT youth of that club think he's a loser just as much as the jocks and partiers do. Just another day of harassment and disrespect for him. Also, his gory Cannibal Corpse t-shirt he often wears isn't making people think any higher of him.

OPINION: A$AP Rocky and the Modern Hip-Hop Crutch

   Hey guys, Kvltwalter here. I'm sure that many of you hip-hop heads have already heard of A$AP Rocky and have downloaded the mixtape pictured above or have bought his new album Long.Live.A$AP., his major label debut. Over the last year, my personal interest in hip-hop has grown exponentially, and my hip-hop collection has grown from a couple albums to over sixty full lengths, and I count A$AP Rocky's LiveLoveA$AP among them. What makes this album enjoyable to me for the most part is the swirly, hazy production style rife with murky synths and cavernous bass, which perfectly fits Rocky's weed fueled lyrics. But that's the thing that keeps me from totally liking A$AP Rocky: the guy doesn't say a goddamned thing that interests me.

CLASSICS: Radiohead-OK Computer: ALBUM REVIEW

   I don't even know where to begin with this album other than stating that it is without question my favorite album of all time, and will probably remain in that spot for the foreseeable future. It is simply perfection. I'd even go far enough to say that it is the greatest album of my generation (some would say "What about Nevermind?!" I wasn't even fucking conceived when that album came out so, obviously, that album doesn't count.) It is a feat of songwriting and minimalistic art-rock beauty. For me personally, this album is almost inexplicable, it's just hard to comprehend making it difficult to explain. Why it's my favorite album, how I've felt listening to it, the album's style, it's all difficult to put into words, but shit, I'm gonna give it my best attempt

Metal Mouth Off: The Law of Attraction

   

   Hi Guys. First off, Metal Mouth Off is where I (a metalhead) ramble on about whatever is on my mind when I don't have the time (or want to put forth the effort) to write a full article or review. As always, I hope you find them entertaining.

CLASSICS: Gorillaz-Demon Days: ALBUM REVIEW

  

   Broadening your musical tastes can often times be very rewarding, after all, it implies finding enjoyment in areas of the musical spectrum that you previously wouldn't have given the time of day to. I experienced this with hip-hop, indie rock, and this gem, a mixture of the two.

METAL MONDAYS: Introduction

   Hello all. Kvltwalter here with the first installment of METAL MONDAYS. I actually have a full article in the works for this section but I have to do the fucking grocery shopping today and I don't think I have the time to finish it. Try to contain your crushing disappointment.

IN DEFENSE: Why I Like Odd Future

  

    Liek, omigod! #OFWGKTA is da shit thay have soo much $WAG seeriusley I want too looze my job becuz Odd Fuchur has a lot of $WAG maeks no sense but wuteva da Wu Tang Klan IS sumthing to fuck wit now holee shit fuck 2 doe boyz thay can suck sum pimpul coverd dicks like Tyler sed it will onlee give him mor $WAG

$WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG $WAG

Kendrick Lamar-good kid m.A.A.d. city: ALBUM REVIEW

   Hip-hop after the mid-'90s has never ever appealed to me. Ever. MF DOOM is an exception, a big exception at that, and I also really enjoy the Odd Future guys (an opinion piece on them will be posted tomorrow) but other than that, it looks to me like hip-hop has plummeted into a well of cliches and boring predictability; lazy flows, cringe-inducing lyrics and a dull and boring image of gold chains and wealth without much substance to back it up. Seriously, just look at these fucking mixtape covers! (here and here)  And yes, I do realize that the bling and bravado is all part of the definitive hip-hop aesthetic, and it would be wrong for those elements, as tired out as they are, to disappear from hip-hop entirely. The thing is, I just wish modern hip-hop could be filled with more innovators and less traditionalists, basically, more people "zigging" and less people "zagging". DOOM (who's album Vaudeville Villain I reviewed here) is one of those "ziggers" with his esoteric oddball rhymes, avoidance of generic rap topics, and penchant for bypassing catchy hooks almost entirely. But I digress. Recently, a relatively new rapper came to my attention who has garnered great praise with his last two albums, and even hard-to-please critics Anthony Fantano and Pitchfork Media gave his latest, good kid m.A.A.d. city, very high scores (both of them gave the album a 9 out of 10.) And of course, the young rapper I am speaking of is Kendrick Lamar.

CLASSICS: Miles Davis-Bitches Brew: ALBUM REVIEW

(kick-ass album art, right?)

   From the time I was very young to this very day, jazz has been the dominant style of music played in my house thanks to my dad and his rather large collection of '60s hard-bop and soul jazz. I didn't really get into jazz until I started college, but ever since I was a kid there was only one Jazz album that I ever knew, but strangely enough, have never even heard until recently: Miles Davis-Bitches Brew

CLASSICS: Viktor Vaughn-Vaudeville Villain: ALBUM REVIEW

   Apparently, God was fed up with hip-hop in 2003 and divinely inspired Daniel Dumile-then known as MF DOOM-to team up with a team of talented producers and create one of the most exciting, hard-hitting, and thoroughly satisfying underground hip-hop albums of all time: Vaudeville Villain.

CLASSICS: The Cure-Prnography: ALBUM REVIEW

      
Anyone only familiar with Cure songs like "Friday I'm In Love" and "Just Like Heaven" will be taken aback by this unsettling album, possibly the most depressing in the history of popular music.